Here and Now

Now at the end of my Australian vacation, I have time to reflect on all that's happened. I missed Paul every day of the nine months we were apart, and longed for the day when I would see him next. So you can imagine my shock when that day turned out to be the day that he chose to break up with me. It was an awful way to start a vacation, especially one that was supposed to revolve around his birthday, but I'm trying to recognise the opportunity afforded by this mess, and am confident of the good that can and will come of this. What happened? I don't know, and I'm not sure I'll ever know exactly, and it may not even matter. But I'm mindful of Annie Hall, where Woody Allen says "A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark." All that remains are the good memories, which Allen captures so well, with a closing montage of Alvy Singer's relationship with the eponymous Annie Hall. Right now, I'm editing the mental montage.

I jam-packed my fortnight in Australia with a myriad of adventures. Most of the time was spent catching up with family and friends. I'm happy to report that I saw nearly everyone at least once, and not just those in Brisbane. The first weekend was reserved for a vacation to the Sunshine or Gold Coast, to mark Paul's 30th. With a lot of free time on my hands, that fortunately coincided with Sydney's Mardi Gras festivities, I called Virgin and cashed Paul's Melbourne ticket for a flight to the Emerald City. Mardi Gras was fabulous. This was my sixth, and first in four years. After five in a row, I needed a break, and there was little they could do to keep my interest. The crowds are smaller, and the party numbers are down, but these are positives, in my view. More room to dance, and more space to keep cool.

I returned to Brisbane for one day, unfortunately spent moving furniture, but flew out on the second Tuesday to Melbourne. Murder's a Drag screened at the Melbourne Queer Film Festival, in the Celluloid Casserole event. I'm very proud to report that Murder's a Drag won the Selectors Choice Award for Best Film. This was completely unexpected, and I'm still buzzing about my good fortune. Nine shorts were in competition, and most were very good. The first two had Australian Film Commission funding, one had Film Victoria funding, and most of the rest were university projects from Victorian College of the Arts students. I was honoured to be in this league, and as already noted, very pleased with the result. I take pride in self-funding my films, but it's an expensive hobby. So the prize money will help to defray the entrance fee costs for some of the expensive North American festivals, and I'll also try and save a little bit for the eventual switch to high-definition equipment.

I was fortunate to experience all the things I miss about South-East Queensland in the short time I was home. A thunderstorm, fresh seafood on the Gold Coast, an outback barbeque lunch in the sun, and a fitting going away at the Big Gay Day street festival. Marcia Hines and Rogue Traders were the headline acts, and it was a nice little send-off with my friends.

I'm writing this post from Changi Airport, on my way back to London. I'm unsure of what the future holds for me, but I'm running toward it head up, and excited about the fun and challenges that lie ahead. In the meantime, in Kipling's words, I'm filling each unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.